South West

Hell Is Other People’s Laptops

Mar 042013

Hell Is Other People’s Laptops by Dale Lately
You try to picture yourself bedding down here for the night. You imagine making a bit of conversation with the other guy, trying to overcome the intimacy of undressing in front of one another, of negotiating when you’ll switch the lights off and go to sleep. Or maybe he’ll continue all night with his laptop and speed metal. The light in here is either the flat bulb or darkness. You feel a sort of lurch of misery and homesickness, or just sickness. [read more...]

Filed Under: Accommodation, Dale Lately, Vauxhall

Station to Station to Station

Nov 282012

by Wolf Orff
Gary Geistler knew he was probably sane. But who in their right mind would turn out for a poetry gig in Mortlake on a bitter Thursday evening in late January? He’d been promised a third of the door money. He’d be lucky if it stretched to a large glass of Chardonnay. [read more...]

Filed Under: Animals, Battersea, Clapham, Mortlake, Music, Putney, Trains, Transport, Wandsworth, Wolf Orff

Lucky Ginger

Nov 262012

At Clapham North he pulls a knob of root ginger from his bag and, with eyes cast down, rubs its surface tenderly; perhaps, I think, it’s his lucky magic ginger.

Mister Bear

Oct 012012

Beside the track at Richmond, a large stuffed bear slumps against the wall and stares at the gravel. “Mister Bear” says the aerosol scrawl, an arrow pointing at his head.

North and South

Sep 272012

by Zoë Fairbairns
“Oh south London,” he said, as if I ought to have made that clear before, as if it was generally understood among right-thinking people that the word “London” does not encompass “south London”.
“That’s right,” I said.
“We’ve got a girl in our office,” he said, “who comes from south London. She’s got the most marvellous accent.” [read more...]

Filed Under: Crystal Palace, Richmond, Zoë Fairbairns

Trampoline

Aug 192012

As the train brings her closer to him, she re-reads his texted description but finds herself distracted by just how many houses in Purley have trampolines in their back gardens.

Snow Dog

Aug 042012

The re-appearance of anonymous photos on the web has prompted more strenuous denials from Battersea Dogs’ Home that cutbacks in the heating budget last January caused severe distress amongst some of the more short-haired residents. [read more...]

Filed Under: Animals, Battersea, Brian Parsons

Streatham on 500 Venusian Tvaargs a Day

Jul 282012

Visitors from other parts of the Milky Way who wish to sample some of the more “off-beat” attractions of the Orion–Cygnus Spiral Arm might like to note that the British Interplanetary Society at Vauxhall stocks a wide range of maps and guides to the local area. [read more...]

Filed Under: Space Travel, Vauxhall

Lookin’ Out My Window

Jul 232012

by Des Garrahan
There was a time I was scathingly scornful of suburbia. Growing up in Lewisham, I couldn’t really see the point of it. Since then, I’ve moved steadily through the zones, both north and south of the river, heading for the periphery. These days, I’m thoroughly and happily ensconced deep in zone 6. And here, in Kingston upon Thames, with apologies to the Pet Shop Boys, you’re more likely to walk with the foxes than run with the dogs at night. [read more...]

Filed Under: Animals, Des Garrahan, Kingston upon Thames

Stiletto Heels and Mascara Tears

Jul 212012

Arm-in-arm, stiletto-heeled, they totter through the Sunday morning rain: a stubbled drag queen with mascara tears and a dead-eyed girl in a silver dress, united by lust for Vauxhall tube.

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