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Mar 202014
 

We had an excellent short story set on Oxford Street ready to post today but, in the wake of yesterday’s announcement by Conservative Party Chairman Grant Shapps that things would all be a lot better if we just got on with our drinking and bingo and let them sort out running the country, we’ve decided instead to revisit a similar initiative promoted by the Evening Standard during the heady last day’s of Ken Livingstone’s mayoralty. At the time, only Smoke had the courage to tackle the issue, launching a hard-hitting series in which irony did battle with hypocrisy for the soul of Standard editor Veronica Wadley. Numbers 1 and 2 – republished below – ran in Smoke 12 and Smoke 13 respectively. Sadly, of course, nobody backed us up: Boris Johnson was duly elected mayor, a real rain came and washed all the scum off the streets, and Smoke ceased publication three issues later. Draw your own conclusions. MH

THE EVENING STANDARD’S CUT-OUT-AND-KEEP GUIDE
TO MODERN SOCIAL EVILS

FreeBet

Number 1

BINGE DRINKING

How 24-hour licensing, single parents and 8 years of Red Ken using gay Islamic immigrants in hoodies to re-phase the traffic lights have made most of London a violent vomit-spattered no-go area for decent hard-working families from Bromley.

FreePint

Number 2

GAMBLING

How 8 years of Red Ken paying for benefit cheats in hoodies to impregnate lesbian single mothers so they can get council houses to turn into back-street casinos run by East European pimps have made Ladbrokes a no-go area for decent hard-working families from Bexley.

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