The MoD this morning called for calm after confirming that London had been invaded overnight by Ant People. “We’ve offered to take them to our leader,” a spokesman said sadly, waving a photo of Boris Johnson, “but it seems they just want to go through our bins.”
In a statement issued this afternoon, Mr Johnson reiterated that there was no need for panic, but added that, to do us all a favour, jukeboxes should nonetheless remain plugged in. He then went on to remind Londoners that you shouldn’t tread on an Ant Person because he’s done nothing to you, and there might come a day when he’s treading on you.
[This photo originally appeared in Smoke 9.]