by Matt Haynes
Man: Gee, hon, what is that thing?
Woman: What?
Man: That round thing.
[read more…]
Animals
No. 7 South Bank
I think we all know the story behind Coldplay’s Yellow but, in case you’ve forgotten, it seems that frontman Chris Martin was absent-mindedly looking out his window one afternoon when he saw something – the sun, a daffodil, Gwyneth Paltrow, nobody’s entirely sure – which made him stop and say to himself: that’s yellow, that is. [read more…]
Number 1
Cat with drawing pin for nose [see more…]
… on her way through Newington Gardens that morning, Fiona suddenly realised that life on Earth would never be the same again [read more…]
“Simon Groom, Goldie and the Mayor of Greenwich leave their hand and paw prints in Woolwich town centre.” [read more…]
Following the discovery of the body of a baby elephant by railway tracks near Wimbledon Common, police say they’re looking for a short, hirsute, elderly gentleman…
[read more…]
No. 5 Russell Square
Was it not Lucian of Samosata who, in 170AD, wrote of being lifted up by a giant waterspout and deposited on the moon where a battle was raging between armies of acorn dogs and cloud centaurs? Sometimes, it’s not hard to guess what’s going through their little pigeon brains… [see more…]
… a spokesman for Lewisham council today admitted that the so-called “blindingly obvious” solution for dealing with SE6’s massive rat infestation might have been based on misinformation and syntactical confusion [see more…]
The cat in the red plastic box stares resentfully through the bars as if to say “beneath the table of a Drury Lane cafe is no place for a Persian Blue.”