London Transport Apologises No. 1
Due to earlier passenger action, the Bakerloo Line has been suspended from the Victoria Line at Oxford Circus, and is now swinging gently from side to side. [read more…]
Oct 272012
MNO
Oct 212012
Essex Edgelands: Rainbow over Tilbury, October 2012
[see more…]
Oct 182012
Outside the Crown next morning, a wreath shaped like a giant emulsion brush stands propped against the recycling bin; as the breeze rises, wet white petals drip onto the pavement.
Oct 122012
by Matt Haynes
I think we can all tell by the way he uses his walk that Neptune is… well, a bit of an old tart, frankly, especially after a dose of Saturday Night Sea Fever has led him to try busting a few salty moves at the local Palais de Danse. Not for him, though, Travolta’s white suit and pointy collars – instead, just some kind of disco cape, the sort of thing you might toss on hastily should the doorbell ring as you were nakedly honing your hustle at home. [read more…]
Oct 032012
… the Kilburn Newsdog says: “I recommend Smoke to all my regulars – it’s woofing great!” [read more…]
Sep 242012
The MoD this morning called for calm after confirming that London had been invaded overnight by Ant People. “We’ve offered to take them to our leader,” a spokesman said sadly, waving a photo of Boris Johnson, “but it seems they just want to go through our bins.” [read more…]
Sep 102012
by Matt Haynes
I picture his right foot tense on the accelerator, desperate to push down and unleash a fuel-injected spray of petrol and testosterone into the cylinder head. It’s so stupid, so futile. If he’d just waited, handbrake on, behind the line, I’d have gone past, and we’d both now be on our way. Instead, I’ve slowed almost to walking pace; I need to be able to throw myself sideways, if he decides he needs to make a point. [read more…]
Sep 052012
“Sorry, mate,” says the man on the footbridge, turning aside to let me cycle past. “Cheers,” I reply. He nods, tight-lipped, then continues urinating onto the Blackwall Tunnel Southern Approach.
Aug 302012
by Mark Sadler
I had been blasted into a low orbit by a potent combination of top-notch E and copious brandy shots which had seemed like a good idea when I began ordering them. Staggering back to the dining room, I took a wrong turn and found myself standing in one of several doorways to the huge kitchen. Lying on the aluminium counter, a few inches from a pair of gently simmering saucepans, was a Kalashnikov assault rifle. [read more…]
Aug 272012
On the trunks of the plane trees lining the western side of Kennington Road between Kennington Cross and the traffic lights at Lambeth Road are fastened small metal nameplates each bearing the name of an Apollo astronaut. They’ve been there at least twenty years, but no one seems to know who put them there, or why. [read more…]