Please Do Not Touch The Walrus No. 2
A fantastic new series in which we attempt to catalogue some of the amazing things you can’t do in our fabulous capital city. Today: discarding teabags in Villiers Street. [see more…]
Apr 292013
Regular features
Apr 222013
Have you ever noticed, he suddenly said, almost as if he knew her, that the studs fixing these tube-seat covers in place all look like the faces of startled bears?
Apr 142013
Please Do Not Touch The Walrus No. 1
A fantastic new series in which we attempt to catalogue some of the amazing things you can’t do in our fabulous capital city. Today: touching walruses in Forest Hill. [see more…]
Apr 062013
Oblivious to lunchtime crowds, he strides towards Holborn Circus – sharp suit flashing in the Hatton Garden windows, mobile clenched tight – shouting: “You’re the one who told me you loved me…”
Mar 302013
Mar 182013
With hair gelled to spikes and skin still pink from blade and Lynx, the Sidcup boys in their crisp white Saturday shirts all look vaguely like friends of Frank Lampard.
Mar 082013
London Transport Apologises No. 3
Customers on Platform 2 should stand well away from the platform edge as the approaching train has had a really bad day. [read more…]
Jan 202013
by Matt Haynes
If, on nearing the top end of Gray’s Inn Road, your response to the deepening pond of filth sloshing round your hush puppies is to lift your eyes heavenwards in search of spiritual sustenance, then you’re in for disappointment. For stiffly mounted on a pinnacle with his sceptre pointing skywards and his bare toes gripping a weighty ball is this cocky young lad making a most ambiguous gesture. [read more…]
Jan 132013
London Transport Apologises No. 2
London Transport wishes to apologise for the fact that, due to earlier passenger action, all Bakerloo Line trains are currently hiding in a big shed in Willesden and refusing to come out. [read more…]
Dec 192012
As staff sweep up, a blue-haired Japanese girl sits in McDonald’s window, ear to mobile, lips unmoving, two dark wet smudges fixed through glass on somewhere that’s not Pentonville Road.